Julie ends her relationship with Billy when she catches a glimpse of his violent nature and suspects him of criminal activity.
On her first night out after the break-up, she meets Kenny, they fall in love and within a few weeks Julie finds out she’s pregnant. Convinced the baby is Billy’s, she goes back to him, certain a baby will make him change.
But Billy’s dalliances outside the law start to attract attention and the worse things get for him the more violent and possessive he becomes towards Julie. She has to escape, but this time Billy won’t let her go so easily.
Anger sometimes makes me brave and while I wash the dishes after Sunday lunch I feel it curl my top lip into a sneer as I curse every breath Billy Harker ever inhaled, but when he appears at the back gate, it retreats to the hollow inside me I’ve learned to keep myself. I turn away from the window and make a silent wish that he won’t start anything today, then I open the back door to the man I refer to as my husband.
It’s four thirty, he’s an hour and a half late, and all he can say is ‘This’d better not be dried up’ as he barges past me almost knocking me into the cooker because he can’t walk in a straight line. I shouldn’t have expected anything different, but when he left this morning he promised me he would be on time. It’s my birthday; I wanted it to be special. I bought a bottle of wine and flowers for the table; I just wanted to see if we could be normal for a change. Sometimes I can be so stupid.
His meal has been keeping warm in the oven for two hours. I use a cloth to hold the plate as I put it on the table; he doesn’t notice so when he moves it he burns his fingers. His sharp intake of breath makes me smile inside – I know it’s petty – but it’s the little things.
‘That’s bloody hot, you stupid bitch’ he says through gritted teeth. He tests the gravy boat before picking it up; it’s a bit cooler, but still hot, so I hold out the cloth for him and he grabs it from my hand without a word. I shouldn’t have done that, now he’ll be in a real bad mood! He eats his meal at the table in our tiny, yellow kitchen, in the house we’ve been forced to rent and stares at my back while I finish the dishes. I can feel his eyes on me, like an insect’s tentacles, trying to sense my mood. Despite my attempts to hide my edginess, my jaw is clamped so tightly shut that my teeth hurt and my shoulders and neck ache with the beginnings of another tension headache. I start to hum, it makes me breathe out and release some of the tension. I push down my shoulders and raise and release my eyebrows. I smile, the ridiculous, painted on grin I use at my mother’s house when she asks if everything is ok.